


Even Cowboys Do The Time Warp

by orphan_account



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Blake Shelton (Musician), The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 22:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6027655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unfortunately for Blake, this is one trip to the emergency room Adam will never forget. Or let him forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Cowboys Do The Time Warp

"Don't forget to lift with your knees." 

Blake rolled his eyes at Adam's warning. "Yeah, I got that about the twenty-ninth time you told me."

"Hey man, I'm just looking out for my Big Country." Adam smiled at him, resting his arm on Blake's shoulder and leaning into him. "Though next time you need to clean out a shed, call Carson. When was the last time you cleaned in here, anyway?" 

"I think Bush was president." He admitted with a slight shrug. "The shit piles up. And if you just close the door, you can forget about it."

"Until you actually need the space for something. Then you're fucked."

Blake looked around the packed shed with a groan. "Don't remind me. How was I supposed to know the boat wouldn't fit in the old shed?"

"See there's this thing called a tape measure..."

Rolling his eyes, Blake turned his attention back to the piles and piles of bags and boxes stacked in the shed. It was various crap that had accumulated from living life and most of it was junk. And not all of it was even his junk, plenty of it had come from family and friends who had needed a place to store something. If he didn't need the space for his new fishing boat, Blake wouldn't shed a tear if the whole thing just burned down. No one had touched a single bag or box in at least ten years.

Still, he didn't want to find out he'd thrown away old family pictures or something that had sentimental value to someone else. So the plan was to load it up onto a UHAUL and take it to a storage space. Sure, it was putting the problem off yet again, but he didn't give two shits if it meant having a place for his new boat. Already it held a special spot in his heart. It was the one indulgence he'd allowed himself in a moment of self-pity after his divorce. He didn't plan on going crazy now that he was single, he just wanted to enjoy life a little more and have a new boat to go fishing with his buddies.

Well, officially single. He glanced over his shoulder at the dark haired rock star carrying a box into the mover. What he had with Adam was even better than a new boat, and it was something that was just for the two of them. After seeing firsthand all the bullshit that came with having a relationship in the public eye, he felt like what they had was too special to share with anyone else. And it felt safer that way, not having to worry about the outside trying to tear it down. 

"You don't think anything's living out here, do you?" Adam asked after he returned. "I thought I heard some rustling..."

Blake turned towards his boyfriend. "Like some animal or somethin'?"

"Yeah. There might be...well..anything in here. Rats, possums...an elephant."

"An elephant?"

"This looks like the guy from 'Hoarders' is going to be knocking on the door any second."

The country singer rolled his blue eyes. "Fuck you, man."

"I'm just saying, I wouldn't be surprised if we find Bigfoot out here." Adam grinned, clearly enjoying getting under Blake's skin. It was one of the things that Blake loved about him, even if sometimes he went a little overboard.

"If you keep talking shit about my shed, I'll show you a big foot. Right in your ass." Blake threatened, turning back to the mess. "Maybe in my ass too for letting it get this bad."

He put his hands on his hips and sighed, surveying the maze of assorted crap with a growing feeling of dread and hopelessness. Blake had never been really big on housekeeping skills, so this was officially the seventh circle of hell for him. But he really did need the shed. And it was totally his fault that the mess was there in the first place. 

"Tell you what," Adam was at his side a moment later, surveying the mess with a sigh. "We're going to work for an hour. Then we're going to go up to the house, fire up the grill...make some burgers, have a beer...maybe go upstairs..."

Blake turned to Adam and grinned. "And that's going to get this mess cleaned up how? We can't do this all in an hour."

"No, but it gives you something to look forward to." He winked at the country singer. "Carrot and stick, Big County.." 

"I'll carrot your stick." Blake promised. 

"You better."

Blake watched Adam head off to the UHAUL with another box, admiring the other man's ass openly. No one filled out the back side of a pair of jeans like Adam Levine. It was a sight that almost made him want to break out into song. It was a nice feeling, even if it was happening in the middle of a shitty job. The whole summer had been on the shitty side, but Adam had been his ray of sunshine.

Of course, if he called Adam a 'ray of sunshine', he'd probably get his ass kicked. 

The thought made him chuckle as he finally managed to put his attention back onto the pile of garbage bags in front of him. The first one was just a little lower than shoulder height and he didn't think it would be too heavy. Blake didn't even have to think about lifting with his legs and all that crap. He grabbed the top bag and turned to set it aside.

What happened next didn't seem to make any sense. One moment he was turning with the bag in his hands, the next he felt like something was tearing his back right down the center. The pain was so sudden and intense it made him feel dizzy. The bag dropped to the ground and a moment later Blake joined it, barely feeling the concrete scrape his knees. He braced himself on his hands, eyes closed tightly. 

"Oh shit..." He gasped, the pain making it hard to breathe. 

Despite being a really tall guy with a history of slouching, Blake had been pretty lucky in the past with his back. Given the stupid stuff he was sometimes prone to doing, either with help from alcohol or friends, it was almost a miracle. Apparently, however, miracles had expiration dates. And now he was trying hard not to either cry or throw up.

"Blake!?"

Adam's alarmed voice rang through the shed. A moment later Blake felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Even though he appreciated the gesture, it still made him hiss with pain. He opened his eyes and looked at Adam, still trying not to move or breathe too deeply.

"What happened? What hurts?" There was a look of panic in the rock star's hazel eyes. "It's not your chest, is it?"

"Back.." Blake managed to stammer out. "I jus'..tried to move a bag...and something...ripped."

"Okay," Adam rested his hand on the back of Blake's head. "I don't think I can pick you up, and if I hurt my back too we're going to be fucked. So either we need to call-"

"No." He cut him off stubbornly. "Just help me up."

Adam looked like he was about to protest for a moment, then he relented with a slight nod. He stood up carefully put his arms around Blake's shoulders. "Okay. Just...lean on me, okay? Don't try to push it too far."

Blake gave a grunted reply. Slowly he inched himself off the floor. At first he didn't even realize the noise that rang out had come out of him. If he hadn't been in so damned much pain, he'd have been embarrassed for it. Even with the pain, he gave Adam an apologetic look once they finally were able to ease him back to his feet.

"I've heard you make plenty of weird noises before, Big County." Adam kissed the side of his head. "C'mon...let's get you to the truck."

"Truck?" He leaned heavily on Adam, wincing at every step. "I just want to lay down..heating pad..Advil..it'll be okay.."

Adam, however, lead him straight for the big, black pickup that was Blake's Oklahoma truck. "You can't take chances with your back, Blake. If you slipped a disc or something, things could really get messed up. And if it's a muscle thing, at least they can dope you up good. Stop being so stubborn."

They stopped at the truck and Blake managed the slightest smile. "You love my stubbornness."

"I love you. Which is why I'm willing to knock your ass out if you won't go to the ER willingly." Adam gave him a pointed look and opened the truck door. "C'mon. Let them check you out and we'll get ice cream on the way home."

"Carrot doesn't work so well if you beat the horse with the stick first." Blake pointed out. 

He stared at the step up into the truck like he was climbing Mt Everest. Now that he wasn't moving at all, the pain had diminished down to a dull roar. That was an improvement, though it also meant having to be careful about every breath he took. Five minutes into the calamity and he was already aggravated as hell. Suddenly the idea of getting doped up in the ER didn't seem so bad. 

Adam got behind Blake and pushed him up into the truck as gently as he could. Blake didn't even try to hold back the moans, grunts and profanities that flew from him until he was settled in the passenger seat of the truck. He laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, fighting the urge to throw up again. 

"Hang on." Adam slipped behind the steering wheel. "I'd tell you not to barf, but it's your truck. So...have at it."

"Asshole." Blake mumbled and settled in for the ride. 

They fell into silence until the truck pulled out on the dirt road. The first bump made Blake yelp, eyes snapping open. 

"I'm sorry!" Adam looked over at him. "I'm trying to avoid the bumps."

"Good luck. It's a dirt road." Blake groaned. "This is gonna be a long ride, isn't it?"

\---

By the time they got to the small country hospital and eased Blake out of the truck, Adam's nerves were fully rattled. He didn't like seeing the people he loved in pain and it was the first time in four years he'd really seen Blake suffering physically. With the exception of a few hangovers, but he was usually suffering right along with him during those. It was scary to see someone so big and strong in that amount of pain. And then there was the not small matter of the bumps in the road to get to the hospital, each one causing Blake to cry out. 

If the nurses thought they were going to shoo Adam out to the waiting room once he'd managed to get Blake inside, they had another thing coming. He didn't leave his boyfriend's side, keeping a reassuring hand on the country singer's arm as the doctor immediately set up an EKG. It was hard to keep his face looking brave while his own heart was racing, terrified that Blake might be having a heart attack. 

"Okay, we're done," The nurse announced.

Blake sighed with relief and relaxed, then hissed in pain with the movement. Adam squeezed his arm supportively. His attention turned to the nurse, who was now studying the print out of the EKG. He held his breath, waiting for her to say something, anything.

"Well, your EKG looks fine Mr. Shelton..." The nurse looked up at him. "The doctor will be in to see you soon. I'm sure he'll want to get some X-Rays of your back. Maybe some blood work just to cover all the bases."

"Sure," Blake squeaked from the bed. "I'll just...lay here...not move..ever again."

Adam was so relieved at the news the EKG was okay that for a moment he forgot that Blake was still in a tremendous amount of pain. When it came back to his mind, he turned to the nurse. "Um...if that's going to take awhile, do you think you could give him something? He's really hurting."

"I'll get the doctor in here, he has to approve." The nurse frowned a little, looking down at Blake. "Hopefully it will be quick, your friend looks like he's going to throw up."

Her sneakers squeaked on the linoleum floor as she briskly left the room. Blake gave a weak little chuckle, rolling his eyes. Adam was glad to see the country singer showing a little life, even if he was still pale and yes, even a bit green around the gils. 

"Great bedside manner...on Nurse Godzilla." 

"Shush," Adam quieted him. "Don't piss off the person who's going to bring you dope, okay?"

The nurse really must have been concerned about Blake puking all over the room. It was barely five minutes before she returned with a bald man who was as round as he was tall. He introduced himself as Dr. Lewis and started poking at Blake. Adam watched, his expression going back and forth between concern and amusement as he watched his friend struggle not to fill the room with profanities to express the pain he was clearly in.

"Well, we're going to give you a shot of morphine, Mr. Shelton, and a muscle relaxant." The doctor glanced at Adam. "You can drive him home? He won't be able to drive for rest of the day after we give him this. Possibly tomorrow too. Sometimes the Ativan takes twenty-four hours to wear off."

"I'll be his personal chauffer," Adam agreed with a little smile. 

The doctor nodded, giving a slight smile of his own. "Good friends do stupid things with you. Great friends drag you home after you've gone to the ER for doing stupid things." 

"Bet you've seen a lot of that." 

Now the doctor broke into a full smile, tapping the syringe the nurse handed him. "Enough to send three kids through college. People didn't think I'd make a lot of money, working a more rural ER, but they underestimate the power of rednecks and beer."

Adam couldn't help but laugh and shake his head. "Yeah...I can see how there would be quite a market."

The doctor administered the two shots with impressively quick precision, the second making Blake hiss and grimace. Adam knew from experiences the muscle relaxers they gave you by injection could burn like hellfire. He was glad they were giving Blake something for the pain, though, because the nurses' parting words were it was a Saturday and it might take awhile to get him X-Rayed. 

"Whoa.." Blake blinked. 

"You okay there, Big Country?" He squeezed his boyfriend's hand gently. 

"'oozy..." 

"Oozy?" Adam frowned a moment. "Oh...you're woozy! It's okay, just let the medication do the job and we'll hang out." 

Blake closed his eyes. "This is..not...how I planned today to go."

"S'okay," He settled down again into the chair at Blake's bedside. "At least now you'll stop being stubborn and hire one of your buddies to do the job."

The country singer gave a non-committal grunt in reply. Adam squeezed his hand one final time and fished his phone out of his pocket. It was times like this he was glad that he was living in the 21st century, when having to sit still wasn't nearly as hard because he could play Candy Crush or watch Youtube videos. He got caught up in a round of his favorite game app and let the minutes tick by. 

"Adam?"

"Yeah?" He looked up from his game.

"I can hear colors." Blake mumbled, his words slightly slurred.

Adam stared at his friend hard a moment, then shook his head slightly. "You are one stoned cowboy."

"A rhineSTONED cowboy?" The country singer cracked up at his own stupid joke, then grumbled in discomfort when laughing made him move.

"Blake...go to sleep." 

Rolling his eyes, Adam turned his attention back to his game. Hopefully if he didn't give Blake too much attention he would calm down and pass back out. They'd drunk together many times, including one very memorable post episode party where Carson played bartender and Adam woke with arguably the worst hangover of his life. And they had had done a fair share of smoking the good bud. But never in his life had he seen Blake Shelton so completely knocked on his ass by a substance. 

He was sure that Blake had gone back to sleep again when the slurred southern drawl caught him off guard. 

"It's jus'...a jump...to the left..."

"Blake?" Adam's brow furrowed. 

"And a step to the right..." Blake's voice had taken on a sing song quality to it now. 

Adam's jaw dropped open when he recognized the lyrics, barely able to believe what was coming out of his friend's mouth.

"Hands on your hips...bring your knees in tight. But it's the pelvic thrust...really drive you insane..." 

He had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep from bursting out laughing. Especially since Blake's voice was getting louder and turning more into straight up singing as he went on. Though it was still slurred and had a very definite stoned quality to it. He was grateful this was happening in the hospital where no one could grab a video on their iPhone. Though Adam was very aware now he was still holding his own iPhone.

It was a true act of love not to start filming. 

"Let's do the time warp again!" Blake slur-sang loudly.

The door opened and the nurse came in. "We're ready to take you to..."

"Let's do the time warp again!" 

Adam cringed in second hand embarrassment for his friend, but at the same time he thought he was going to bust a rib trying not to laugh. Especially at the quizzical way the nurse regarded Blake. She turned her gaze onto the rock star next, disbelieving.

"Is he singing what I think he's singing?"

"Yeah, he is." Adam shrugged. "Apparently even country singers love Rocky Horror."

\---

Blake woke up in his own bed the next morning with only the faintest recollection of how he got there. Something about the hospital, Adam helping him into the truck and then...what? He was in just his boxers and his back hurt like hell, along with a slight, dull throbbing his temples. Obviously his little buddy had undressed him, and while it wouldn't be the first time, this time he'd missed out on all of the fun. Rolling over, he bit out a curse at the pain that stabbed just below his shoulder blades.

"Take it easy." Adam stepped out of the bathroom, giving Blake a little smile. "Looks like the Cowardly Lion has returned from Oz."

"I hurt my back?" Blake guessed, grasping at the memories that still seemed fuzzy in his mind. "We were cleaning out the shed, I picked up a bag and turned and....that was the worst truck ride of my life."

The rock star nodded and joined him on the bed, sitting down carefully. "You tore a muscle in your back. The doctor wants you to stay off your feet for two or three days, and after that take it easy for a week. Then you can slowly get back to being your normal, redneck self."

Blake flipped Adam off, even if the motion hurt a little. "Please tell me they sent something home. I feel like shit."

"They did..pain killers and muscle relaxers so your back has a chance to heal." Adam smirked. "Though, obviously not what they gave you yesterday."

There was something about that cat that ate the canary grin he didn't like. "Does that have anything with me not being able to remember almost anything after we got to the hospital?"

"It has everything to do with it." He chuckled. "Blake...have you ever had morphine before yesterday?"

"Don't think so, why?"

"Apparently, you're a total lightweight in that field." 

"Lightweight?" Blake frowned. 

"Dude, you told me you could hear colors." 

"What?!" 

Adam started laughing and nodded. "Oh, that's not even the best part..."

"I don't think I want to know the best part." He hoped it didn't involve public displays of nudity or anything that would be a trending topic on Facebook. 

"It's just a jump to left..." Adam sang, his tone clearly teasing.

Blake frowned, confused. "I don't get it."

"You, my dear, sweet, sexy cowboy were singing the Time Warp song in the emergency room yesterday." 

Adam was grinning like he'd scored the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl. His eyes sparkled and it was obvious that he'd been waiting since the day before to convey this piece of information. If Blake didn't know him so well, he could have held onto hope that he was just bullshitting. But the little eye crinklies didn't lie.

"Oh fuck..." Blake groaned. "How many people heard me?"

"Just me and one very surprised nurse." Adam laughed. "I was very proud that exposing you to music that doesn't twang is finally catching on. It sounded pretty good...maybe you should approach FOX about that live version they're doing in the fall."

"Oh go to hell." He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them slowly. "I better not see you sharing a video of this with Carson later."

Adam leaned in and kissed his cheek. "You know I wouldn't do that to you, Blake. I respect your privacy." 

"I'd hug you, but I hurt too damn much. Think you could get me one of those pills?"

"Yeah." The younger man planted a second kiss on his temple. "I did, however, burn the image into my memory so completely I'll be reminding you of it for the next forty years."

Blake sighed. "Asshole."

"Your asshole." He countered in return.

A smile crossed the country singer's face, despite the pain in his back. "Yeah. My asshole."


End file.
